I am now waiting to see if I’m yelled at, agreed with, or ignored. You know, the usual anxiety I have when engaging in this wonderful vortex called youth work. Also fun: trying not to hate on your old church for being COMPLETE DOUCHBAGS. Sorry, did I say that out loud? Why yes, I think I did. What’s that? This is my blog, and I’ll cry if I want to. So there.

At first I thought I was hearing a neighbour mowing their lawn at 12:30 in the morning. Then I realized it was a street cleaning machine. Then I’m all, really? That’s a fun job. Then I’m all, Roz, FOCUS.

Also in the news: Child Protecti.on Workers can be idiots. Yes, it is a slow news day here at chez roztime. Basically, we had another one of those Big Important Meetings about the case. And they came up with the same to-do list of things that they came up with a year ago, and then three months after that, and then three months after that, and then… Now you can see how these kids have been in care so long. I had this amazing chat with the other foster parent in the case after the meeting though; made it totally worth the drive to and from camp. You know, the one where I had to leave my cell phone as collateral with the gas station owner, because when I finally pulled up praising God that I managed to make it that far on my fumes, I realized I had forgotten my wallet back at camp. Good times.

What’s that? You didn’t want your night table totally trashed DaddyMC? Oh. Terribly sorry. Let me have a look…

No, definitely trashed. Afraid we don’t offer a cleanup service here at Maria’s Toddler House of Destruction. We do, however, offer complimentary Cuteness.

My camera phone may only be 5 megapixels, but it comes in handy when you all of a sudden are faced with, say, impromptu diaper throwing binges.

She grabbed the disposables from the bottom of the change table, and with one in each hand ran around the room madly fluffing them and shouting EEEEEEE!!!

So now all our disposables are three times the size they come out of the box. No idea what her parents think when they pull them out for access.

Recently found out that the gifts and photos etc that I was sending to access to go home with her older siblings never manage to get to their foster home.  Likely that parents are taking the items ‘for them’ for when the siblings ‘go home’. Which I can understand from the point of view of the parents, but it’s bloody annoying considering how much time and effort and cash has gone into the things I’ve picked out for the sibs for now – not this imaginary future. Ah well, lesson learned.

And this new baby: is supposed to be coming to us, is supposed to be born in the next few weeks, and is a half sibling to Maria.  So, depending on some logistics, we may not be keeping said sibling for very long before (they? it? she? he? Have to figure out a blog identity for this unborn babeee) move on to a different and better home. But I am VERY EXCITED for baby SQUEEEEEEEE in the meantime!! I ‘might’ have bought some newborn clothes while at my favourite consignment shop this afternoon… Ahem.

There might be a future angry ranting post, all depends on the reply I’m waiting on. Nothing to do with the awesome drama that I get to be privy to, now that my husband is all up in the VERY IMPORTANT ELDER PERSON position. Which really, he is so not about. I think he’s the last person to be about vip anything. Anyway; the pastor is away for the month, and heh drama is going DOWN y’all. Okay, not really, but at my church people can be funny. And I’m home for the phone calls that are coming to MC. Trying to diffuse stuff while also trying to keep Maria from falling down the stairs/eating that piece of God knows what/shutting herself in the bathroom.  Good times.

GUESS WHAT??

Access was cancelled again today.

I know, you were expecting something actually news-worthy, eh. It was cancelled 7 hours before it was scheduled, so that’s something. I didn’t even ask why it was cancelled.. ‘GREAT!’, I said. The lady calling me was a bit taken aback.  I was banking on them cancelling, we had plans to go visit motorcycle shops for ManCold.

If access starts back up, I’m screwed. I like this normal life, where every day isn’t governed by the ‘Oh!! I have to run home! The driver comes in a minute/I have to pack the bag/write in the books/put together that care package/change the diaper and outfit/put the coat on her/etc’. Not to mention the ‘Sorry, I can’t do that day, we have access. Tomorrow? yeah. Access. What’s that? We can’t be friends because you’re sick of all the access visits??’ scenarios. The ones only in my head. Strange world in there.

And now I shall regale you with my day in photos:

There’s this corner near my house that has a big stall set up, with different goods depending on the season – pumpkins and mums, tulips and daisies, tomatoes and onions. Somewhat random, always cheap, and always atrocious spelling on their spray-painted signs.  Like ‘BEAFSTAKE TOMATEOS’. My mom bought me a couple tulips for Easter, because she’s awesome. This is also to show you the weather recently has been fantastic (yeah. it doesn’t show that at all. shh) and I managed to celebrate that today by going to the hospital! Yes! Institutions are where it’s at y’all. Just a specialist appointment for Maria, nothing to write home about.

She’s looking up at the foil helium balloon that says ‘First Birthday!’ that has kept her fascination for a while now. Seriously. It’s like crack, only less likely to cause tremors (HA ohh I am hilarious). And yes, she’s holding onto the dirty door frame of my backdoor. Today we also managed to eat sticks on the back porch, an empty walnut shell that was on the ground, food that fell on the floor of the hospital, and gum to death that exceptionally dirty doorframe. Good times.

These were just outside on my back porch, making it pretty while we had our illegal mini campfire with the Franulator. I’ve had major campfires recently – this weekend was our youth leaders retreat, which went really well. It was at a ‘local’ campsite in a conservation area, but I couldn’t sleep over so it meant some serious commuting. It was so good though! Played games in the thunderstorms (in a dining tent), ate like it was going out of style, washed dishes outside, went for midnight walks (I commuted late both nights), fed racoons from around our campfire.

Sometimes it can feel odd not being fully in any world: either parenting, as it’s not my child, to youth work as I can’t commit completely to anything because I have family responsibilities. Being at home is similar, since my ‘work’ with youth takes so much of my time that I can’t get the same things done or go to the same places as what I feel I should. Recently I’ve been trying to enjoy myself, though, without having to put myself in boxes. They’re squishy.

And lastly, but for no reason other than.. well, hello it’s just yummy:

RIGHT. Let’s talk about last weekend. Wow, it’s been a whole week already??

Last weekend was the big snow camp up north with tha youth group. The one I’ve been dreading for… well, weeks? Months?

The youth, of course, have been DREAMING and anxiously awaiting its arrival since this time last year. I mean it. They talk about it in the summer, for heaven’s sake.

I don’t like it because it requires driving 4 hours, with random stops for food and picking up youth WHO ARE NEVER READY WHEN YOU GET THERE. And huge snow drifts that are just perfect for shoving people into (except, you know what happens when you shove a youth in the snow? They turn around and shove you back!! TERRIBLE. Where’s the respect for eldes these days eh?) And early mornings with late nights. And having to leave my babies at home.

Of course, I’m skipping the amazing times I get to share with the youth: being part of their development, whether spiritual or emotional or whatever, is awesome. Or just being part of the singing as my entire vanload of students sings together at the top of their lungs to some Marianas Trench song as we’re zooming down the highway. Or being treated with such respect from both the girls and the boys – it’s still strange to me that they’ll listen (and do) what I say. Waiting for them to realize no bolt of lightening will strike them if they refuse…

This though? Is one of the reasons the youth love this place:

Muskoka trees

sunset over the frozen lake... yeah, it was freeeezing

In the end there wasn’t much drama within the youth group (one of the couples broke up, another had a big fight), but for me the difficulty came within the leaders. My normal co-leader was up at the camp but volunteering with running the camp, so it was me, the other leaders, and a couple parents who were helping as leaders (you need x amount of male/female leaders for y amount of students).

To make a long and overly dramatic story short, it became very difficult when the parents (2) started to make decisions for the group and basically not following ‘the rules’ of the hierarchy of the leadership. As in, I should have been able to make the decisions, but instead had to go along with them because to fight it would have meant a lot of argument and stress, and it wasn’t worth it. But it is extremely frustrating to be treated as an imbecile, WHEN I’VE RUN YOUTH GROUP FOR 5 YEARS. But I did good y’all – I saved all my ranting for ManCold when I (finally) got home. And it stretched me and all that.

All in all, I’m still not pumped for next year’s snowcampy. And yet I realized again, I loves the youth work

(Allowing a couple guys to go pee in the snow while we were in the hangar for session because they were too lazy to walk all the way back to their cabins; playing dutch blitz on a sleeping bag in the underground aka the hangout spot and KICKING ASS; having too cool teenage boys break down crying; watching as youth start relationships and end them; getting lost in a city where I should know better but the youth not caring because hey! more time together in the car!; listening to their plans for their futures; being there to see their faith and love for Jesus grow in crazy awesome ways; being told my outfit ‘looks epic’; sharing communion with them…)

UGH. Can we please talk about the damn youth of today? Because they killin’ me, yo.

Look. I like technology. I may be the only person alive whose cell phone doesn’t have a camera, but I can text (this is apparently something I have issues with though – like about this, for instance). I email all the time – it’s the fastest way to get ahold of me. I can win a typing contest with the best of ‘em. I get social media – I use facebook, if only to stalk my youth group look at other people’s holiday photos. I blog (hi!), I read other people’s blogs, I have a ‘blog community’ even. Hell, I have a twitter account (see bottom left corner). So I’m with y’all on the love and constant usage of computery things.

But I also understand and can use that strange, Old World thing called a ‘telephone’. Yes. I know that you say ‘hello’, ‘goodbye’, ‘how are you’, and other such rudimentary greetings when using said device. I understand that it’s polite to ask the person how they’re doing even if you’re just calling for something basic, like is there youth group tonight (YES. Because it’s a WEDNESDAY. Youth group has been on Wednesdays for TWO YEARS NOW).

And you know what? I get when you should use email, and when you should call. For instance:

-You’re sick and can’t make it out to something. That’s fine by email.

-You’re sick and you can’t make it out to the big shindig in your honour that’s supposed to start in under an hour. YOU CALL.

-You’re pregnant (and in the youth group). Yeah, that’s a call. I might even go so far as to say a face-to-face meeting would be best. I know, drastic. But hey, it’s called a condom.

-You forgot which chapter we’re supposed to be studying tonight for the bible study that you’re supposed to be leading. That can be emailed, sure. I’ll get my yelling and screaming out on the computer before I email, rather than doing that first over the phone.

-You’ve decided after three years you’re not going to be a youth leader anymore, starting right now. Except, we were only just last week planning future youth things together. THAT’S A CALL. NOT AN EMAIL AT 1am, YOU DUMBASS.

Anyway, I think you get the drift, yes? In fact, you might even have said ‘call’ to all those questions, or face-to-face to all of them if you’re really old. (HAHA)

I mean really. You’re no longer going to be a youth leader because your pitiful job is taking precedence?!? CAN YOU STICK WITH SOMETHING FOR LONGER THAN FIVE MINUTES CHILD?? You’re not even a youth no mo! You’re in your twenties for FRACK’s sake!!

No no, it’s fine. We’ll just continue to do all the work. At least now I don’t have to pretend you’re part of the team and sign your name on the bottom of everything so you can get half the undeserved credit. Man alive.

And for the record, I am calling you back rather than emailing a reply, because one of us can figure out when a situation requires common courtesy and some freakin’ explanation. UGH.